Life has it's ups, it's downs, and it's in betweens. Life throws things at you when least expect it such as: me getting pregnant just six months after having my first child. Life is like a game of monopoly. You roll the die, take chances, and you never know what you're going to land on. You have things that make you cry, things that put you to your limit, and things that couldn't make you happier. In my first blog I'm going to sum up my ups, downs, and in betweens that life has put me through thus far.
 |
| Broken (Downs) |
As soon as I was born life was already throwing stuff at me. Before I was even a year old my parents divorced. And my mom remarried when I was three I suppose. Being brought up in a broken home is nothing you want to put your kids through. It takes two to make a baby for a reason. A child needs both the mother and father. Each one is needed for different things in life. If a kid doesn't have both, they will feel broken when they are older. They will feel as if something is missing in their life. I feel broken. I have been through four divorces. Two in one year actually. My moms second marriage ended my freshman year of high school. Nothing but ups and downs thirteen years of my life. Argument after argument. Laughter after laughter. When you're young you don't see what goes on behind the parent's bedroom door. You never knew that it was way worse than you ever thought it could be. It's like you never know your true parents. They were completely different behind that door. While you're dealing with the chaos at the your mom's house, every other weekend you get your daddy time. When every week you look forward to the weekend to spend with your dad. You always had fun with the dad. He made sure that you had fun no matter what. Even when there wasn't much money to do anything with, he still made the times memorable!! My dad showed up at my cousins house one day while we were swimming. He pulls up (I'm shocked didn't know he was coming over) and walks over to the pool, gives me a kiss, and tells me he's leaving for Michigan. To an eight year old daddy's girl, that's the worst thing you could tell her. My grandparents would take me and my sister to visit, and they would literally have to pry me off his neck. A 12 hour drive gives you plenty of time to cry yourself to sleep. And a few visits you grow out of the clenching to him, the crying. You grow out of being a daddy's girl. After a year of being there for a year, he marries a lady with three kids. Thought it was great for a few years, has a baby with her. And when that little girl was about a year old, they get a divorce. My freshman year of high school as well. I've probably seen my dad three or four times the whole time i was in high school. Now I may never get to see him again, but that's a whole nother post. Mom got remarried my sophomore or junior year of high school. They got divorced this past November. My life has been nothing but broken pieces getting pasted back together and broken again. That's the biggest DOWNS.
 |
| Happiness (ups) Now just because I've been broken doesn't mean that I haven't had great moments in my life. The first great thing that pops in my head is the day I saw Erik Greywitt. I knew from the first time I saw him that I wanted him. I didn't know his name or anything about him. I walked into T.G.I. Friday's two days into me living in Chattanooga. He was standing by the bar. He was even dating a girl. We hung out a couple of times and that was it for about 6 months. Then him and that girl broke up and he became my best friend. Went to the movies as friends, had sleep overs as friends. We even had friendship bracelets. This whole time we was talking to another girl. Erik and me were just friends for real. And he fell in love with me and I fell in love with him. But to me we were just friends and I couldn't see past that. He was crazy about me though. Him and that girl quit talking. He went back home with me to visit family. Just as friends. My family loved him. They kept telling me that I loved him and he loved me. And that we were going to get married. They were so crazy about him. They said when we looked at each other you knew we were in love. Well we came back home and stayed friends for a while. He always took care of me though. One night we were out and one of our guy friends actually cried telling us how much we were made for each other and how we need to be together. We just laughed it off. Then my jaw got broken at work. And he always made sure I had stuff at the house. He always made me smile. Even with my mouth wired shut! lol I felt miserable though. I felt so unhappy with my life. I felt so alone and missed my family back home. I almost packed up and moved back. He came over one night and begged me to stay. He told me to get over the best friend thing and that he loved me. He said give me a year and if you're still not happy here, I'll move back with you. Well we got together. Got pregnant with our Emma and moved back. Didn't last long. We were made to be in Chattanooga. And now we have a little Jacob on the way. And now I have what I wanted from the second day in Chattanooga. I have a Family with the man I fell in love with from the first time I set eyes on him! |
 |
| Visiting home just as friends |
 |
| A year and a half later |
The in betweens are just blurred dreams. Nothing comes out clear. The in betweens are the things that don't matter anymore. Like all those fights you and your sisters had about wearing each other's clothes. And how much you wanted to be with your sister but she didn't want you around. But when you both grow up and move away. Yall cry all the time about how much yall miss each other. And the little sister that made life hell when she was a little girl but now she has matured into this beautiful, wise, responsible young lady with ambitions. Who knew that life would turn out this way?.... I didn't. Did you think your life would be the way is now ten years ago?
